On the 9th of August, we came together at the RoadPeace Wood in the National Memorial Arboretum for a deeply moving Ceremony of Remembrance. As part of remembering together, we are sharing this speech from the ceremony so that its message may continue to be heard and felt. Here are Helen and Mark’s words:
On 27th July 2019, we were a family so happy we thought our life was perfect. We were mortgage and debt free. We enjoyed family days with our children, their partners and our grandchildren. On this day, Ryan, our son, had spent the day meeting up with two old friends from Delabole, the village Ryan grew up in and where we live. They then went to a carnival event in St Teath, a neighbouring village, just a few miles down the road. Ryan was spending the night at ours and Mark dropped him and his friends there, telling him to call when he wanted to be picked up. We never received that call, we just spent that night restless and listening for him to return, we just knew something was not right.
On 28th July 2019, at 8am, we got that ‘knock on the door’, our lives were shattered, we entered a world of pain, as many of you know, never to escape. Our son, Ryan, just 31 years old, had been killed by a cowardly ‘hit-and-run’ driver. The driver took Ryan a distance along the road, showing no evidence of breaking, before, during or after. Ryan was left in the road to be hit again, by a second driver, who stopped and did the right thing and dialled 999.
Ryan was the most caring, happy, generous, loving person you could wish for, we were so proud of him and all he achieved in his short life. Ryan had a smile as big as his heart and he lit the room up when he entered. He also had a great sense of humour, making everyone smile and managing to lift them when feeling low. His hugs were amazing, something we all miss immensely. He loved his family, his wife Cath and his son Harry, he had a close bond with us all and his family meant everything to him. Ryan’s sister, Leanne, was not only his older sibling, but his best friend. Ryan idolised his nephew, Louis. To this day, Louis shows traits of his uncle’s humour and laughter.
Ryan also did a lot for charities, such as a skydive for orphaned children in Africa, walking up Snowdon dressed as a rabbit for MIND and arranging a football match to raise funds for the brain tumour charity to take place in September 2019 – an event which sadly he never lived to see, but in his memory, it still went ahead.
Ryan’s killer avoided capture for 36 hours, he then confessed to his father that he was the driver that hit Ryan and he admitted he had been drinking at the same Carnival event. His father called the police. It was then a further 10 hours before the police took the driver’s bloods, by which time any traces of drugs/alcohol had left his system.
In the months that followed, we were in shock, numb with disbelief and devastation. Grief was all consuming and still is. It was then that we were offered a short break at Harcombe House near Exeter, run by the Fire Fighter’s Charity, as I am a retired On-Call Station Manager for Cornwall Fire & Rescue Service. These few days gave us a safe place to grieve openly and reflect. Something we have never forgotten.
We stand here today, on 9th August 2025, exactly 5 years to the day that Ryan’s killer sat in Magistrates’ Court charged with ‘Fail to stop’ and received a 4-month suspended sentence, 12-month driving ban, and 4-month curfew to fit in with his work and seeing his children. This sentence was an insult to Ryan and all of his family.
Our daughter, Leanne, said: “Ryan’s life cannot end on this sentence.” It was then that Leanne decided to start a petition to increase sentences for hit-and-run. When Leanne applied, it was declined as there was already a similar petition running by Louise Smythe, who had sadly lost her son to a hit-and-run driver. Leanne asked her if we could help her to achieve the 100,000 signatures required before it would be debated, which it did. During this time of campaigning we gained a vast number of followers and formed a small, dedicated team from all over the UK. To this day, we haven’t managed to meet them all in-person.
We then went on to help Christina Worsfold in her campaign, calling for instant driving disqualifications when failing a breath test, again achieving the 100,000 signatures. It was then that Leanne and all the family felt we needed a petition in Ryan’s name, hence #RyansLaw was created, asking to widen of the definition of Causing Death by Dangerous Driving to include failing to stop, call 999 and render aid on scene until further help arrives. We achieved 100,000 signatures in two months, and when the petition closed in the six-month time limit we had 167,461 signatures. Ryan’s Law was debated in Parliament on 15th November 2021 and the fight for change and closing this loophole still continues.
We know that RoadPeace too, are campaigning on the issue of hit-and-run drivers, with their Remain and Report Campaign calling for the introduction of new, more serious charges for failing to remain at the scene of a fatal or serious collision, and a reduction in the 24-hour reporting window allowed after a crash.
Whilst we were campaigning we sat through Ryan’s inquest, which was on Zoom due to Covid-19 restrictions. Ryan’s killer smirked and even admitted he had been drinking, knowing we could do nothing about it. Listening to the details was heart-breaking, the pain, as all you know too well, cannot be put into words.
During this time, we endured Ryan’s killer, who lived down the road from us, passing us daily, waving, smirking and giving hand gestures. As you can imagine this was a continuous toll on our mental health and led to us making the decision to sell our home and move. After searching all over North Cornwall for a property that allowed us to keep our employment, we finally found a large bungalow, needing renovation on the outskirts of the village, far enough away from the killer’s abuse.
It was whilst renovating our bungalow that we thought about creating a free respite accommodation from the large garage, so that we could give back to people who are also living this nightmare, a safe space, just like we had been offered by the Fire Fighter’s Charity. We also wanted to create a positive in Ryan’s memory. So, off we went to see an architect, who drew up plans, which were passed and the work began.
Never did we think it would involve so much digging…the outside area was above damp course level so we had to dig down a good 18 inches, that’s a lot of earth by hand. Building regulations stipulated the garage floor had to have a radon barrier, thick insulation, chipboard, vapour barrier and then topped off with ply and finished floor, the walls dot and dabbed plasterboard then skimmed, a new ceiling and 400mm of insulation. In all, more layers than an onion, but very cosy. We worked tirelessly, until dark some evenings, alongside our normal employment. Helen was my labourer and has learnt many trades in the process.
We had three years in which to complete RysHaven because of planning, and we had just a small budget each month from our salaries in which to do this. Luckily, we started to receive kind offers from several local companies, Jason at North Cornwall Glazing, who donated the doors and windows. Nigel Hicks Joinery, the Kitchenette and appliances. Arlene Winter, a family friend, who donated all the items for the en-suite. Western Supply Builders Merchants in the village, who gave us a discount on materials, and our family who donated additional funding. We are eternally grateful to them all as this helped us finish RysHaven in just over 12 months.
Not forgetting local tradesmen, some of who were Ryan’s good friends; Kris Lias, Nathan Smith, Dave Tilley, Louie Johnson, Martin Heal, Dave Osbourne and Phil Sleep. They all prioritised RysHaven within their busy schedules. Also, Steve and Martin Davey, our local farmers from across the road, who arrived with their digger, Tractor and trailer, they moved what took us months to move by hand, in just an hour. A big thank you also to our grandson, Louis, who helped us with digging and rumble moving and who appeared on our Facebook Page adding much laughter and humour to the process. Also, our dedicated gardener, my brother, Andrew.
For two who are 60-plus, I think we did well. We feel proud that we have created a lasting legacy to Ryan, which reflects the person he was and hope it will help and comfort many families to come.
Thank you to RoadPeace for inviting us to speak at today’s Ceremony of Remembrance, we are honoured. Also, Nadine at RoadPeace who designed and produced our beautiful leaflets for RysHaven, which are available today should anyone like more information. If we can help anyone here today with a short break, please just drop us an email.
Our heartfelt condolences to each and every one of you here today that have lost a loved one, or had your lives changed forever due to serious injury.
Thank you for listening.
